Need To Stop
Wednesday. Sun. Yes, sun. A dramatic cloud covering it now and again, but no rain, a good breakfast and what appears to be a doable day. I have more software to install to finish the computer, but I can stumble on now without undue haste, the major pieces, the necessary pieces now in place, and the attitude, the evanescent attitude, is good.
One week now before checking into the hospital. No way around it, I suppose: the stomach no better, no worse. A walk downtown late this morning feeling pretty tired by the time I arrived. How much of it is being out of shape and how much of it is due to this aching sinus-head thing? (You remember the sinus-head thing? It hasn't had its old position on center stage for a while.) I've eased way off on the pain medication they've given me for it - they say it's designed for long term use, but does any of it come without side effects? - and I'm considering leaving it alone for this coming week, see if some of this prehensile aura of gloom might let go of my throat. I can see why people go from doctor to doctor. What are the side effects of all the medications they dole out? Many more and sundry than physicians can tell you I would guess. They all come in clever sizes and shapes inside colorful bottles though, the little devils, and are championed by people who are reputed to know.
Later. A short nap, but a very nice short nap from the feel of it, the day pretty much done. Nothing good in the way of Korean soaps this evening and through the end of the week. Probably for the best. I watch enough television as it is and I'm thinking listening to public radio all the time isn't all that good for me either. Or something like that. A sign I need more naps, perhaps. I'm beginning to cotton to the idea of not listening to or watching the news, not reading the papers, no longer carrying a phone and spending my time instead reading romantic fiction and eating peas. Except I don't read fiction anymore and I'm not sure why I'd want to eat peas.
Are some of our cylinders missing fire?
I'm not sure where that came from. I do believe being wired into the media stream is a bit like being addicted to a colorful drug, the brain absorbing without comment whatever the approved people in power are choosing to dole out - privatizing Social Security, invading Iraq and the like - but I tend to only believe it after a few drinks on alternate days of the week.
You need to stop.
I need to stop.