All The Time
Another good day today, two in a row. Even after three bottles of Guinness with the crew I missed on Wednesday, I feel halfway human. Let us see how the weekend goes. One day back on beam and I'm exuberant. Two days back on beam and I'm practically ecstatic. An upbeat weekend and I'll know no bounds. Except for the keys. I'm worried about the keys.
As I was leaving for the bus stop I put my hand in my pocket and realized I didn't have my house keys. What? Could I have left them in the restaurant? What had I done today that had to do with taking things out of my pocket? Keys don't fall out of your pocket, even single keys, unless you drop your trousers (I hadn't dropped my trousers) or you'd taken the keys out for some purpose or you ran into some guys on the street who decided to grab you by the legs and hold you upside down, which, I imagine, could happen in Oakland, except I would (I think I would) remember it. No keys. I went back and checked my desk at the office. I took the bus home hoping the landlord was in her apartment. She was in her apartment. She let me in mine. I checked the desktop in the bedroom and found the keys.
How do you forget your keys? This is get up and get ready for work routine, as routine as routine gets. I've forgotten my building badge. Not often, but everyone does that. The keys, though. There are two sets, the apartment set larger than the three car key set. Two sets of keys, a pocket knife and whatever change less the quarters, which go into the drawer where I save them for laundry.
Or is this over the top? Do people forget their keys and not notice they've forgotten their keys until they return home from the office?
Are you asking this question seriously? As in you want an answer?
People do this? It's not a sign of accelerated old guy deterioration?
All the time.