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February 4, 2012

With One's Self
Saturday. A decent night's sleep after watching the second episode of Deadwood last night. I admit I'd probably get cable if there were more like this one showing, not that it's at the level of The Wire or one or two others I've made it a point to watch straight through on DVD. Naughty words and nudity, famous gun slingers and cowboys, violence and really over the top violence: how much better can you get in a western?

Anyway, up at six, to breakfast and then down the peninsula to Los Gatos, the drive going better than I'd thought it might, so I arrived a good half hour or so early. No problem, they rolled me right into the tube for a half hour of loud noises, rolled me right on out and I was on my way back home by the time I'd been scheduled to start. Got lost at the same point as I did the first time I was there - I wasn't sure I'd been there before until I arrived - but to no great loss, the return home was longer by no more than a couple of minutes and miles.

So a long morning. I stopped at the morning café at the end of the drive and had a waffle and coffee. I was hungry. Not sure why, as breakfast had been reasonably substantial, but hungry I was. Either that or I was avoiding heading home. That doesn't sound right. Still, home at noon and to bed for an hour's nap, up then for a walk.

The Saturday farmer's market was in full swing on a really nice t-shirt day. A photograph or two at the lake, a walk on to have an ice cream cone, a couple more photographs passing by these folks practicing tight rope walking. (Did we do things like this at their age? Tightrope walking? I certainly didn't.)

That waffle and coffee driving home from the exam followed an hour or so later after a nap with an ice cream cone (two scoops) still left me hungry, so I naturally picked up a steak sandwich to go at the burger place and ate it at the computer while sitting in front of the fan.

A long morning, a long first half of an afternoon finally getting to sit down and patch up yesterday's entry as best I was able before posting, again tired and not quite right for the task, but the head in other ways relatively clear. I noticed what I'm calling “relatively clear” in driving down to Los Gatos, particularly when arriving and parking in their small lot. I remembered feeling a bit flustered, not quite sure of my driving the first time I'd been there - this during a period I'd had a fender bender or two, both my fault, both freaking me out because I could see I wasn't driving very well in ways I'd never driven before and thinking I might have to stop driving altogether if it continued - but this time, quite solidly in control, maneuvering with confidence, whatever was or wasn't behind me quite clear in the rear view mirrors. Sounds strange, but not as strange as it was back then when it was happening, let me tell you.

Anyway, as said, tired after a long morning and start of an afternoon, no longer hungry now after that sandwich, but ready for another nap. I am.

Later. In the low seventies today and, they're saying, tomorrow, rain maybe Monday. Another hour's nap just now and I'm awake, up and talking about the weather. Pretty exciting stuff to mark the middle of a weekend.

Evening. An odd day. We'll see how tomorrow plays. I talked about the head and driving (and vision and such) being fine, and that's true enough, but otherwise the day has been something of a dozing at the throttle train wreck. Is there some derivation of “tired” that might describe the condition more accurately? Naps where you don't quite sleep that have recharged your batteries in the past, but leave you, at least for today, where you started? Kind of like priming the engine without any effect. Interesting. But then what else is new, we'll probably restart and run through the same set of symptoms and conversation tomorrow.

I think you've got more of a soliloquy going here than a conversation.

One can't have a never ending, ever repeating, conversation with one's self? Here in Oakland?

Lake Merritt taken with a Nikon D2Xs mounted with a 24-120mm f 4.0 Nikkor G lens.