Around And Around
Wednesday. A somewhat odd morning. The alarm went off at six. I'd gotten to sleep after eleven, late, but not too late, turned the alarm off when it erupted and lay down again for a bit, getting up at - surprise - seven-thirty. OK, we have our guitar lesson this morning at ten, we'll pack the guitar into the car, park across the street from the usual café while we eat and read the papers and then drive just up the hill for the lesson. Which I did.
Not a great lesson. My fault, I need to practice with the recorded drum accompaniment he's provided on a CD, get my act together. There's a reason this needs to be done with the drum. But still, a little fragmented while playing, a little fragmented right now, back to the apartment just before eleven. Where has the morning gone, where had my head gone? Where, oh where, Mr. Natural?
But that's my routine around here - “where oh where, why oh why?” - we'll settle down and get it together. Another too many times repeated routine: “get it together”. What it? Why? Is the sky falling? Are the weasels in the walls again, getting feistier, running faster ever faster?
Is the double vision back? Are you keeping your car on the road, stopping at signs, avoiding obvious impediments: parked cars, oncoming buses, highway patrol bruisers in their cruisers?
Maybe I do need to cool my jets. “Highway patrol bruisers in their cruisers”: there's no excuse for that. I'll lose my membership in the Journal Writer's Guild. Believe me, it's rather hard to lose a membership in the Journal Writer's Guild. Come back later, see if any of this is comprehensible to me, let alone a reader.
Later. A bus downtown to replenish some needed vitamins, a stop on the way back to buy a small frozen pizza at my local 7-11 look alike. For some reason I felt I might be able to eat one of these things (I was), although I no longer am able to eat pizza (if this could be called pizza) more than about once every month. OK. Errand run, back home, settle in my man, settle down.
In addition to sounding a bit fractured this morning, I was indeed feeling a bit fractured this morning, so I've been watching for any additional signs. Feeling a bit testy, I must admit. Nothing that would show, but certainly noting I was, well, feeling “testy” and discussing same with myself as needed in a kind of Zen calming routine.
A Zen calming routine?
Grandiose, calling it that. Just sitting back and looking at how I was reacting and putting it in context. A young woman sitting across the isle from me on the bus had her smartphone playing music fairly loud and I was thinking - well, rude, not nice, ill mannered - but there is no upside in saying anything, no upside in making a face, and the bus ride, after all, is not all that long. People on the bus talk loudly on their cell phones all the time, I was surprised there weren't two or three talking at the time, no good (for your own psychic health) to pop off about talking on phones or playing music on phones now that it's become a norm.
Off the bus to Rite Aid across the street. Fish oil capsules, vitamin B 12, iron supplements (do I need iron supplements now that I don't have those internal bleeding problems anymore?) and folic acid. The B 12, iron and folic acid recommended by the doctors, the fish oil on my own. Rite Aid fish oil. There was an article about detectable levels of PCB's in Rite Aid fish oil, something Rite Aid I'm assuming has corrected, but information like that slows you down. When you start having issues of one kind or another you start looking for culprits. I'm looking for culprits.
Later still. Late afternoon approaching six finishing up a session scanning old early 1970 negatives I've found recently and retouching them in the computer. The Wacom tablet is very nice for retouch work, I'm now convinced it was a good purchase. It takes as much as an hour to do one picture, so my thought was to do three a day for a week and then post them as a page to the Rip Off Press section on artandlife. Get them scanned and done. There's other work to be done with the negatives and digital pictures. Get on with the project, make progress.
For whatever reason (another overused phrase) the “fragmented” feelings of the morning and early afternoon, the double vision when I was downtown, cleared up and I've been feeling just fine sitting at the computer in Photoshop. Not unusual. The symptoms come on after a clear headed breakfast and then pretty much go away by evening.
The ocular migraines like the late afternoons, early evenings though. Have to think about that. I mentioned you tend to look for causes: what is it I do just before these things happen? Breakfast at the same place every day? Eating too much cereal in a single sitting? These questions go round and round. Around and around.