Between Naps II
This marks two weeks since the operation. I did little to learn what was actually done, other than they took out the prostate and had to sever the urethra (hence the tube into the bladder for two weeks to allow it time to heal, more knowledge, perhaps, than you needed) and that the working space for the surgeon was limited, one slip and you lose functionality. You don't want to lose functionality so you choose your surgeon with care and trepidation.
So, knowledge or not, whatever was done, it takes time to recover, which is a long way to say I'm tired. Another day of being tired, a good day for all that, but a day to take a nap to recover from the last nap. To recover from the shower. To recover from the ten minutes spent at the computer. To recover from typing flat on my back in bed on a laptop.
I got out to buy the paper at three this afternoon. Dropped the rent check in the slot downstairs. Demanding stuff. Another day leaving the building without a camera. Some thought to walk farther down to the cash machine just beyond the small post office, mail one or two payments that need to get out, but no energy to write the checks. No real focus or energy to sit down and do the paperwork. Still, it's a good kind of tired that results in more sleep than I've had in years.
I remember this day two weeks ago thinking man, would it be nice if that day were this day, two weeks of grief behind me. Well, here we are after a lot more trepedation than any real suffering. These are the good days, the results more than positive, life can go on wherever now knowing how quickly it can all disintegrate into nothing. It certainly gives you more distance in your life, but does it also draw some things closer together? I don't know, this Sunday, in the evening.