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She likes my journal !!

They have better beds on the A ward.

Green's in Oakland.

August 19th, 2000

For What You Wish
I've had a curious six years. When I went to work in Oakland I was heavily in debt, five months behind in my rent, experimenting with something I learned later was called sleep apnea and suffering from an internal bleeding problem that no doctor could identify except to assure me it wasn't cancer because I'd had it long enough by then that, if it were cancer, I'd be dead. I also owed the feds and the state the price of a Lexus. I liked the new job, though. It was challenging and I think I did some good work.

Sometime two to three years ago the work became routine and the entire company, exhausted perhaps from Tree on the way to work. what seemed a never ending series of reorganizations that eventually lead to our being acquired by a foreign company with a corporate culture straight out of Charles Dickens, settled into a lethargy where we wondered and watched while the best of us fidgeted around for a while before moving on. All the energy and urgency seemed to be focused on the politics of doing instead of getting it done. About that time I started this journal, perhaps as a reaction to what was happening at the company, working on it an average of twenty to twenty five hours a week. Just writing and scanning the photographs, no great flights of design fancy, no all night sessions learning more about PhotoShop or how to shoot better pictures, just day to day writing and marking time.

During these last three years the sleep apnea has been fixed, the bleeding has stopped, the debts have been paid and I've begun to feel pretty good, what with the walking to work every day and a long line of uninterrupted night's sleep. I've acquired some camera equipment. I don't run a balance on my (one) credit card. And I've been entertaining vague thoughts of buying some decent clothes. And the company, what do you know, for reasons I've alluded to here, is moving again. A quandary. Remember the old admonition? Be careful for what you wish?

The banner photograph was taken at Green's (good salads) in Oakland recently. The tree trunk you've seen before. The quote under The Sole Proprietor title is by Jackie Mason.