Not Even Close
Monday. Yesterday was better than the day before, but the mind is still a block of cheese. That and a bit of sake combined to make the evening go more smoothly than it otherwise might, but not that much sake and not that smoothly. It is morning now, after breakfast, after a run for cat food, after a bath, after a cool evening sleeping under covers, but before the sun starts setting the woods on fire and I retreat farther back into the apartment with a fan.
I'm not sure anyone should be writing any of this while employed or, more to the point, looking for work. You've run out of your pain meds? You take pain meds? I think an HR department has an answer for that and it doesn't include medical coverage. Otherwise the blood pressure has been holding, up a bit on some readings, down a bit more often, good is my guess. We'll let the doctor know tomorrow. The pressure doesn't seem to react particularly to what I've been doing, although that sake last night probably didn't help. Progress? I would think. Five days without taking the meds, lets hope it holds. Same with the lungs. Woke up coughing in the middle of the night, otherwise slept soundly. What are these lungs about? I have no idea.
And I have no idea what I'm going to use for a photograph as I write. Up after six for breakfast, an hour's nap when I got back. I have a half dozen photographs in the can for the photo behind the Sole Proprietor title and I do need more of those, but nothing that fits the portrait format up top. This is not a complaint, it forces me to get my act together. It doesn't much matter whether your head is screwed on or off, you still need a photograph.
Later. The pain meds arrived, took a pill about fifteen minutes ago, should kick in within the hour. I say that with some confidence but I don't really know. Pretty much everything you put in your mouth kicks in within about an hour, right, just thinking in terms of alcohol for example? Or aspirin? Or similar such? Will life suddenly bloom in thirty minutes? Will it have any effect on these congested lungs? Will my attitude improve? Will I take a walk, take a picture? Such excitement on a Monday here in the apartment.
My guess is thirty minutes, it took thirty minutes to make a difference. I still have the aching sinus-head, the lungs are still, well, fucked up, but the mind is clearer and my first thought was to pick up a camera and hop on a bus. Which I did. A bowl of chili and a cafe mocha downtown before walking back toward the apartment (toward the apartment means I hopped a bus halfway back), the lady up top shouting out “take my picture” seeing the camera as we passed, the shot a quick swing of the arm in her direction firing without bringing it up to the eye. Kismet. I like it better than if we'd stopped and posed the shot.
So, life seems better with the little pills, although it gives me pause to see what a difference they make. Not a huge difference, but enough to wind me up and get me out of the apartment. Is this the future then, little pills morning and night for the rest of my life? Is, at least, the chest thing on its last legs? Last legs from the way it's been behaving could be in another week. Two weeks. Please not three weeks. I will talk more with the doctor about this: what is it, how did it come, how long does it usually stay around?. If he knows. Hard to know, sometimes, if your doctor knows.
The day, at least, has been relatively cool although the Yahoo weather site says we had a high of ninety. Sure hasn't felt like ninety. They've been projecting temperatures of a hundred for the last four days, but they've missed the mark so far in Oakland. Ninety is was not. A hundred, not even close. No complaints.