The Sheets Are Fresh
The photographs are done and I'm sitting here fishing for a subject.
Well, why not write about what you did today?
But I don't do anything.
Are you listening to yourself when you say that?
Um, well, yes. There is a day out there and believe I participated in it.
And this is a journal, right? Day to day entries, day to day stuff. Like the real journalers write?
Don't talk about the real journalers. Makes me nervous. Whatever it is I'm doing here is something else because I'm not doing what they're doing. I'm doing something else.
Well, all I do is walk in to work and walk home from work. Sit at my desk and fiddle about. Get
coffee. Have lunch. Shoot pictures when something or someone gets in my face and I remember I'm packing a camera because even though I always carry a camera, it's easy to forget. Stale camera syndrome they call it. I have friends at the office, but they know about this journal and I don't want to write anything too personal about them whether it's OK with them or not. I shoot pictures of the people I work with and I shoot pictures of people passing on the street. Sometimes they duck and sometimes they don't. Besides, I don't have any good stuff to write about: I'm not carrying a crush on any of the ladies and I'm not fighting with any of the managers. My managers have been pretty much friends. Only two or three women duck when I pass them in the halls and I'm not even sure anymore that has anything to do with me. I think some women just duck. All my coworkers are young wise asses and we get along just fine, thankyou, because I'm a wise ass myself. What's to write about? I'm not looking for turmoil, but I could use more excitement.
Techies need a certain amount of crazyness, something to, you know, maintain our blood pressure, remind us we're alive. I like to design and build things, I don't like to run them once they're finished and there's little chance they'll get interesting again and blow up. I need challenges. One of the reasons I was drawn to newspapers and magazines and marketing departments. Lots of deadlines. Techies lead a similar life. Makes us a little crazy, but without it we go mad. Mad is bad. Kind of like the people at the post office.
So this is a problem, is it not? You're telling me you don't have anything to write about?
Well, I've had some ideas. Some little changes I'm going to make, but I'm not going to talk about them now because I always talk about them and then I never do them. I've promised Rien at least four times over the last year I'd come up with some numbers for his collection, I've even got "Numbers!" pasted on the back of my Nikon and I haven't shot a single one. So, anyway, I've been thinking about making changes, but I'm not going to mention them because I probably won't do them, and just sit here and talk about it. I'm not even sure I care. I have procrastination writ all over the place. At least the bathroom's clean and the sheets are fresh.