The Hang Of It
Saturday. Odd or not odd, who knows anymore? My three shots of Jack Daniels last night seemed to straighten me right out, feeling pretty good without any noticeable buzz through the rest of the evening. A good night's sleep last night, up this morning at six with the alarm, back now from breakfast on what looks to be a sunny not particularly cloudy day developing. No particular thought to go here or there, nothing calling out to me from the misty distance, but otherwise in good mood. How many times have I started an entry like this? Up, down; up down: hup! hup! We'll leave it at that.
Good luck with leaving it at that.
Maybe so. It's hard to duck your neuroses and obsessions when they're all written down right here on paper. On the cloud. In the cloud. Wherever this damned stuff exists. But again, a good mood, the head screwed on in what feels to be a somewhat normal sort of a way and the upper palate-sinuses seem to be keeping their presence to themselves. They're letting me know they're still there, but nicely, without what can be at times (such as early last night) an unpleasant presence. Or something like that. I'm noticing a lot of “like that's” around here too for some reason. Sloppy, I'd think.
Later. A walk down to the bus stop thinking, well, I'd head downtown, maybe to Jack London Square, a little voice arguing I'd been there about a berzillion times now, why go there? So I walked over to the farmers market to sit for a bit at a table and take a little sun. There wasn't a live act playing, so there were one or two tables available. A walk then over to Noah's Bagels, not stopping, returning then to the apartment.
So what's to be said. A nice walk, nothing much in the way of pictures, feeling fine and disinterested. Part of life - no complaints - but we're keeping our eye out for something to grab our attention, suck us into whatever so that time passes without any fuss. Fussing.
So we're bored?
No, we're, well who knows? We have had our ups and downs with the head and such and the “head and such” feel pretty good. Nothing wrong with that, say a little prayer, toss a little salt. I have guitar to practice (I'm fighting the chords, although I notice I'm getting better at them) and I have a couple of new PocketWizard gizmos that fit on the cameras, neither of which I've tested. The guitar I'll do because that's the plan, the Wizard gizmos, well, we'll see. They're on the list, but maybe not for today.
Later still. I caught a wave and spent the afternoon scanning more old negatives after a session on the guitar. I really am finally out of usable old negatives, but that's the idea. Put them to rest. Forever. What the heck.
A walk down the hill at five to have sushi and sake. Not a thought to do anything else whatever's happen this last week. Back now thinking in terms of another session with the chords and maybe turning in early. It's the weekend, I have a birthday coming up, I'm allowed.
You're always allowed if you're the one who gives yourself permissions.
They call it behaving like an adult. Behaving as an adult. Never quite got the hang of it.