Saturday. Clear sky, head like cement. Such is life. Still, the studio is mine starting today. I'll move the lights into it later, shoot practice shots tomorrow, hook the exotic never used before, owned for well over a year wireless device to one of the digital cameras and see if it works. You know I'm not kidding when I say I have this head thing going when I buy exotic toys and then let them sit in a closet. I'm not a complete geek, some would say I'm not really a geek at all even with all the computers, but letting it (them) sit in the closet? While people are starving in Petaluma? While technology is blasting along at such a pace that everything left in a closet for more than a week is obsolete and available at a local garage sale for a tenth of what you paid for it?
Who gives a fuck?
I'm supposed to, but I'm sitting here avoiding packing my tripods and moving them to the studio. What did I rent it for? Then again, why race around like an idiot? Move them this afternoon, set them up tomorrow morning and spend - what - four hours experimenting? More than four hours? Not likely. Prepare for the shoot this next weekend? I doubt it. I just sit here at this computer in Oakland. Sometimes I turn on the TV and watch Chinese soaps. Sometimes I take a nap, read a paragraph in one of the books I've bought but somehow never manage to finish. I believe they call this ennui - in polite circles, anyway - otherwise it's called whining and crying and avoiding exercise. Depression is often included: low level - high level, they're covers on the same book.
No radical thoughts beyond these ruminations. I have two doctor's appointments coming this next week and another session with the dentist the week after. Once I'm in the door I'm holding out until one of them suggests something helpful about my head. It doesn't feel terminal, not that I'm an expert on terminal, it just aches all the time lately with the occasional flash of disorientation, symptoms that caused them to run my head through an MRA two years ago when these symptoms were already well established. They seemed surprised at the time they didn't find anything.
Monday. OK. No more dicking around after getting through what turned out to be an unpleasant weekend. I see the ear, nose and throat guy Wednesday morning. My guess is sinus something or other after searching the web. They say it can be unpleasant. I agree. They say they have treatments to make it go away. Providing it's sinuses. I'm ready.