I Might Add
Saturday. What I assume was a reasonably good night's sleep was followed by breakfast at the usual place, a walk back home and then a two hour nap. It seemed excessive. Why the need for so much sleep? I'm good about sleep. Sleep is my friend. I make it a point to get as much as I can. Still, clear headed by two, a trip down to the local Beverages and More for sake and cheese then back to the apartment for cheese and crackers and a half bottle of diet Coke, now sitting at the computer as the evening begins. I will watch my Japanese soaps (this being a Saturday), drink more sake and go to bed early. Unless I don't.
An evening with Japanese soaps and sake brings to mind one of the press descriptions of Hunter S. Thompson's last days on the planet. I've had no thought of ending it - life is good, after all - but Hunter evidently arose in the late afternoon and started his day with a hammer's head combination of exotic medicines and alcohol (Dr. Thompson had a literary rep to maintain), finishing his after midnight mornings five or six sheets to the wind. There is a certain pale parallel here with my Japanese soaps, sake, cheese and crackers. Nothing as mythic as Dr. Thompson's choice of chemicals and companions, but still, swacked out is swacked out and they say it's not good for your health. I've read that. More than once. Do you suppose there's any chance they could be lying? Hard to believe anything you read anymore.
Yes, but you don't have the horsepower to know the difference.
What's horsepower have to do with it? I've had the horsepower to do many things I haven't had the desire to accomplish. I'm not sure what objectives I've attempted that I failed for lack of talent. Lack of interest, yes; lack of application, yes. My problem has been finding objectives that appeal in the first place. The early days, the companies founded that failed, the books written, but never finished; all played out in the way they were supposed to play out: successes and failures both. Life is democratic (and problematic). Which may be a form of denial, but so? It's really good denial. Really good denial works. Why not drink sake until the sun rises, other than for the number of years it will scrape off your life? Declining years spent without benefit of sake and cheese and crackers, I might add. Here in Oakland.