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Lake Merritt area of Oakland.

March 27th, 2003

Cross Fingers
I was thinking, as I was walking to work this morning, I should make a rule. If I walk one morning, I should allow myself to drive or take the bus the next, but if I do drive or take the bus, then I must walk the day following. I can never drive two days in a row, in other words. I was wondering then, on a morning when I'd walked into work the day before, would I walk that second day in a row just to retain my option to walk or drive or take the bus the day after? Would retaining that option - to walk or drive or take the bus - be enough impetus to get me to walk two days, three days running?

Where's this going?

We're walking. Any damned ruse to climb out of this hole and if walking can do it, I'll do it. I feel better for it, I know the head feels better for it, walking these last two weeks has made a difference. So if relating a mindless ditty keeps me going, finger nails holding, so be it. I am grasping at straws here, friends, getting my head back together. I suspect this journal has had nothing more than that purpose. And it seems to be working, cross fingers.

The photograph was taken in the Lake Merritt area of Oakland.