I Doubt It
Saturday. The power went out in my neighborhood last night just as I was finishing a new page in artandlife and it lasted for two or three hours. Plenty of candles around, but I'd forgotten where I'd put the flashlight (no big deal) or the battery powered radio (with the completely depleted rechargeable batteries inside). The iPod was working, although I noticed many of the songs - whole albums, actually - have somehow disappeared, probably happening about the time I connected it to the computer last month and the iPod software told me it didn't recognize it. So I'll have to look into that, I suppose.
I seem to be slowly slipping into this retirement thing without too much damage. So far it's been a long weekend with me puttering around futzing with artandlife (more pages, as I mentioned, in the Carnaval and Dykes on Bikes sections) and thinking, well, what's the next step? I'm not looking to become a “real” photographer in the sense of sharpening my technical skills, nor do I intend to spend long hours in the rain waiting on that one particular spectacular picture. That doesn't mean I'm not serious about it, it simply means I know what I want and if it develops into waiting in the rain cold and wet for “that particular spectacular” picture to appear, well I won't push it.
I'm thinking more in the line of waiting in a comfortable chair with a flask of hot sake at my side while the models get into their costumes. Or is that a thought you've had as well? One of those old man day dreams (sitting in a chair with a flask of hot sake at his side, smiling)? Nothing whatsoever wrong with that, you understand, as long as you don't lose your connection to what's actually happening. Models are happy to get into or out of their costumes if you're serious, but they don't do it just to be with you on a cold afternoon with your camera.
So, some walking today, more than yesterday, more than the day before; some semblance of a sensible diet, although I'm won't to cheat with but a minimum of rationalization and I seem to have a decent attitude, albeit with an aching head. The left side seems to be the active area these days, having left the right side to its own devices. Maybe it is nerves regenerating or reconnecting or acting up (the doctors somehow never really lay out the options) and one day the process will finish (one hopes well before I am finished) and maybe sitting out in the rain and the cold waiting for that one perfect picture will seem more sensible in the future. But I doubt it.