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Under Construction
Aunt Fran on Bainbridge Island

July 20th, 2002

Well, Everything
Just after six in the morning in Portland, the house to myself today as the sister, brother in law and teenage nephew are leaving for San Francisco this morning for a reason more complicated than I care to explain except to say it's for reasons bizarre, but not unpleasant. No one hurt or dying. No one rushing to anyone's bedside. Which means I have the house to myself and my mother and I will drive up tomorrow to attend the family party. I'm thinking of driving into Portland with the cameras later and walk through some part of the city shooting pictures. I did this four years ago and posted the photos in the very early days of the journal. I'd be curious if the eye is any better, if the photos I might take today would be different in some discernible way from the photos I shot then. This is a weekend, that was a work day, different circumstances, not sure any comparison is possible.

The current thought kicking around is take three days to drive down the coast, Tuesday throughCousin Vickie on Bainbridge Island Thursday, return the car late in the day Thursday and spend the next ten days piddling around in Oakland. I have another prostate exam on Friday. Don't want to think about it particularly, so I won't. Want to get the artandlife business cards designed and printed. Need to find a local printer. Want to get more of the artandlife photographs up and re-install my scanning software to work with Photoshop 7. That's enough. Eat, sleep, piddle about, eat, sleep, piddle about. A not inaccurate description of my life. Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad, maybe that's accurate.

No email from any of my coworkers concerning the company. Our revolutions and reorganizations tend to take place on late Friday afternoons just before a weekend. I was laid off last year while I was on vacation, laid off by one group and reacquired by another while I was here in Portland and wondered at the time if I had developed some psychic gift for going on vacation before the sky was about to fall. MSJ has promised to send me an email if the sky should fall in my absence. She too has heard rumor. The excitement, the excitement.

My guess is things are OK through the end of the year, they should be OK through the end of the year if only because the project I'm working on will take this year to finish and the company wants it finished. Everything thereafter depends on the economy. How's the economy been doing in my absence these last few days? Too much excitement, too much excitement.

Still, even though little seems to happen here on the road, the wheels turn inside. Another break point, another opportunity to think about what comes next. How does keeping this journal change, how does the photography change, what should I really do (really, really, now, not just make believe really, really) about the way I earn a living? I'm sure I will sit here on my perch without a cluck as the foxes come down the line knocking us off one by one, but I like to think I have some control, some ability to plan, some ability to act before the fox arrives. Probably not. Just idle chatter, sitting here at the breakfast table typing, the sunlight creeping through the window behind me, throwing light on, well, everything.

Photographs later.