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Under Construction
At a wedding in Oakland

January 1st, 2007

Out Of It
Pisces (February 18 - March 19): This year will be full of big changes and surprises. Pivotal months are March, June, September and December. It will be very empowering.

Empowering is good. I like that. March is the birthday month, so you can always get a Pisces’ attention by mentioning March. A change or a surprise. Surprising to be that old, I suspect, but let's worry about it when we arrive. June is the date the company is planning on cutting me loose, so that's a no brainer. Two out of two is good. People are saying September is the month the company will actually cut us loose as they have the option to delay and, since we expect things in IT to be teetering on the edge requiring our continued attention when June arrives, many are assuming September. They intimated as much when they announced the lay offs, that they retained the option to delay our departure and we would have to stay on if we wanted “the package”. December? Well, Decembers are problematic. December, the short days of December, doesn't bring to mind guarantees of sweetness and light so I'll set December aside and see if we're surprised when we arrive, if we arrive.

The day, this New Year's Day, by the way, is sunny and bright. I've had breakfast at the usual cafe, just a few of us in there early this morning, but the head feels pretty good as it felt pretty good yesterday, but not so hot on Saturday, I must admit, not so hot on Saturday which puts today and yesterday in positive relief, reminding me that good is good and better is better and not to complain so loudly when I'm still able to get out of bed in the morning and tie my own shoes.

You've been wearing shoes without laces now for a couple of years.

It's called stacking the deck. Every day is a good day “when you can get out of bed and put your own shoes on without assistance” being the equivalent of “tying your own shoe laces” in my fantasy existence.

You've admitted more than once you live a fantasy existence.

We start the day with the Chronicle horoscope and we don't live a fantasy existence? We get out of bed and go down the way to a cafe where attractive women serve us what we desire while we read the morning paper and we don't live a fantasy existence? I spend more time than most people spend watching television writing a journal and I don't live a fantasy existence? I talk with you as often as not and I don't live a fantasy existence? Who's hallucinating now?

I hallucinate you, you hallucinate me, we hallucinate together and baby makes three. Between us we're a regular Buddhist advertisement.

They talk about that, don't they? Dreaming the world. The dream within a dream? Still, we're discussing the beginning of a New Year here. Or is that discussion by definition fantastic? Hope to have this, resolve to do that?

Maybe for the first time we're setting forth on a New Year facing in the same direction?

No chance. We've obviously drifted here. Snap out of it.

The photograph was taken at a wedding in Oakland with a Nikon F5 mounted with a 135mm f 2.0 Nikkor lens on TMAX-400.