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Under Construction
San Francisco Carnaval Parade

January 30th, 2004

Able To Tell
MRMcQ came by and we shot more portraits using Kodak Tmax-100 black and white for the first time to test the studio lights. I screwed up one of the settings, but found the error and settled in for what I think was a good test. After we'd finished we talked about what each of us was doing to stay employed over these next few years, for me probably another five. Feeling funky or not, I need to have a backup plan in place for the day I'm not needed anymore here in Oakland. Anyone who's read this journal for any period knows this is one of my "Oh, me! Oh, my!" routines and knows I've done squat to prepare. Of course I could be hallucinating, all of those people who are no longer with the company (including MRMcQ) could be hiding out on one of the floors upstairs, except I'm not hallucinating. Unfortunately.

In the past I would have just let it happen and found whatever I was supposed to find when it arrived. There's a certain Zen quality to this method, except I'm not loose enough or aware enough to make it on Zen.

So what's the plan?

Plan? Have you not been listening? I have no plan. I have a whiskey and water. I have a swell set of studio lights. I have a black cat.


This week of vacation is pretty much gone. No surprise. I'd like to say I'm recharged and ready to go, but I'm not. Probably not. It's been a week of hibernation and naps, watching movies and wondering at these eighteen months of symptoms I continue to experience although I'm feeling pretty good right now as I write. Is life better, is life worse? If I could keep my mouth shut for an hour I might be able to tell.

The photograph was taken at the San Francisco Carnaval Parade with a Nikon F5 and a 135mm f 2.0 Nikon (Nikkor) lens on Kodak Tmax 400.