You've Been Holding
Yesterday the dizziness came back to the point I decided to call the doctor and then, before receiving a reply, go to the local emergency room. Once they knew about this at the company, of course, procedure kicked in and they wheeled out on a stretcher into a waiting ambulance. They asked all the questions, they readied an IV, they squirted nitroglycerine under my tongue, they hooked me up to the things they hook you up to, they did a heart x-ray and a ct scan, all negative. I was still dizzy, some tingling in the hands. I waited for a Yellow Cab for an hour before cancelling the call and requesting a cab from another company. It arrived in under five minutes and I was home.
So what happened? I don't know what happened. I already had an appointment this Wednesday to see the prostate surgeon and another to see the Dermatologist on Thursday (they're still interested in removing moles) and now another appointment with my general practitioner. Today I'm home, still dizzy, taking naps. I don't know if this is good or this is bad. The emergency room doctor said the next step, after seeing the general practitioner, was to see an ENT specialist (Ears, Nose and Throat - I thought, in confusion, "ENT", must be one of the yellow on blue acronyms I'm seeing all around me on people's jackets, something to do with nuclear medicine or entomology) and, if that's a bust, see a Neurologist.
So, later, my own doctor called and I'm going to go see a Neurologist. The tingly fingers thing, probably some early stage of carpal. The head, I don't know, I would feel better if it turned out to be Ear-Nose-Throat, something in a spray bottle: "Here kid - squirt! - you'll feel better."
So, that was yesterday. I don't know how HR feels about guys who get carried out on a stretcher. Their employees would fret if I were laid off next week, but another month, when many and another have been given the package? And, given the realities of life - emergency rooms, fear of dying - what in the hell does anyone care right now about a job? I can always get a job. Not so easy to come up with another heart. Or head. Or rent controlled apartment.
So, I don't know, I'm on the conveyor belt. One day the conveyor dumps you in the river, but evidently not today, so we'll enjoy the ride. Dizziness is just dizziness and, right now, later in the afternoon, it's not so bad. There were others in that emergency room yesterday, a normal day said one of the attendants, with more serious issues. Best to remember there are more serious issues, less lovely hands to be held than the hand you're holding.