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Thursday. Another cousin's son up to no good. Talk about heart in mouth.
(Cliché alert!): The camera and lens are due to arrive today, something I've been waiting on now for over a month. You'd think time would go slowly, waiting on whatever, but it hasn't. Time flies. (End cliché alert) I've been thinking about that from time to time (I know, I know). I haven't had any interest in the time going faster right up to their arrival, it goes so damned fast as it is, and in not wanting it, of course, you get it. Looking back, what happened last week? What did I do that I particularly remember? Zip! Zap! Nothing new here, they've done studies that show time seems to collapse as you get older, half of “remembered” time is done by about the age of twenty-one. If you live another sixty years, then sixty years seems like that first twenty. Just saying, noting the obvious. I'm very good at noting the obvious.
Back from breakfast, by the way, some clouds up there, but the sun breaking through. The attitude good, the upper palate sinus thing pretty much in check. Yes, it's there, but the head is clear and “there” isn't a particular problem. It goes up and down as I go up and down. Here in, well, wherever.
A good day to get my list of camera equipment in order and update my insurance company. Delete some things, add a couple of new things (arriving in another few hours), a task I'm good at, in the sense of getting it done when I need to (they automatically insure new equipment as long as you notify them within thirty days), but it's not one of those things I do with particular enthusiasm. Maybe do some laundry today as I'm waiting on UPS. I went over the rugs last evening, something got under my skin, I don't know what, and I found myself down on hands and knees scrubbing (Ms. Emmy cat keeps you limber) without apparent damage to my psyche, perhaps more of the same is possible.
Let's see, what did I shoot yesterday that I didn't post? A photograph through a display window along Broadway in the Oaksterdam area. They're promoting the taxing of medical marijuana as a method of getting it accepted. I have no problem with that, marijuana hasn't had much interest for me in some number of decades. I smoked my share during the seventies, occasionally during the eighties when I was with friends who imbibed. It had a certain thrill when I became aware of its existence in the sixties, aware in the sense I actually smoked it from time to time in college. (Do you think anyone who worked at an underground comix publisher in the seventies didn't smoke his share of dope?)
I basically see this push as a recognition on the part of its supporters that the way you get something done, the way you get something accepted in this society, is by pumping money into the political system through taxes, lobbying and various under the table payments. Well, that's too harsh. Contributing generously to the election campaigns of your representatives, there are plenty of legal ways to move money to the people who can do you good. If you can get that in place, all things follow. They're attempting to sell drugs the same way pharmaceutical companies sell drugs. There's a lot of money in it without the danger of jail time if you follow the rules. The marijuana people are just taking the hint and joining the crowd. Success in America. Success in the world. But I'm going off again, aren't I? Pay no attention.
You seem more jaded lately.
In a sense. I'm not all that offended by any of it. I'm more interested, I think, in seeing it more clearly as time and experience seem to allow. I've benefited from some of the not to be mentioned elephants in the room, have lived an easier life than many through advantages others haven't had. I'm seeing the way it works. More accurately, I'm seeing the way I think it works.
I have no real confidence what I'm seeing, what I'm saying, describes more than an approximation of any “truth”. I'm more than willing to let the absolutely certain hold that untenable ground. Doesn't mean I've given up, just means I'm less surprised or upset anymore when I learn how this or that was allowed. It's just, I don't know, not worth getting too excited about. Life is short. Work toward fixing what you think broken, but don't assign moral elements to it. You get along by getting along, but don't stop trying to make changes. Get out on the street with a sign when you think its necessary, just don't lose all that much sleep over it when you go to bed at night. If you throw yourself under the machine in protest and join the very small army of brave souls, understand there are no real gold stars involved, other than an appreciation, maybe, of some who hold similar views.
Your eyes have turned brown.
Who cares? I've got a camera coming. I'll be excited playing with it for at least another week. Life is good. We'll put off throwing ourself under the claws of the Beast until we've documented it all in full, sparkling, shot in low light, color! (Which will take years and years and years!) Hup! Hup!
Later. OK, there it was and now here it is. The new camera and lens, the camera very much like the last one with one or two new dials, the lens a bit heavier and different looking than its predecessor. I'll test the camera this evening in the city, see what they're talking about when they say it shoots better in low light. The lens will have to wait until Saturday and the Oakland Holiday Parade. Yes, I set it up and took it along down the way while I got a sandwich (a very good sandwich; very good, maybe, because I was hungry) and shot a picture, but tonight will tell us more.