While I Can
Wednesday, the last day of 2003. The year has passed quickly, has it not? This year has been a year of watching and listening as the rest of my life, I guess, will be a time of watching and listening, not that there's anything specific to listen or be watchful for other than one of the usual suspects you find tagged at the end of the first paragraph of an obituary, not that any of us read obituaries. But this is not a suitable subject. Yes, it is winter; yes, it has been raining and it's cloudy and cold (for California), but I'm thinking of this coming spring and that I would do well to use it to my advantage. New Year's resolutions, in other words.
Moan. So what are they?
- Buy a car by my birthday in March if I'm still employed. Use it to get out of the area over the weekends, go places and shoot pictures, look for that one thing all men look for but can never find.
- Think about another way to make a living. Think some more. Don't think about it over the long weekends (looking for the one thing etc., etc.). Come to grips with the fact I'll not get off my ass until I'm blown out the door on my ass. And then think again.
- Stop playing Freecell.
- Plan and complete a project. Write a book with photographs based on a theme of personal interest for example. Only really do it.
- Frame some photographs. Think about framing some photographs. Read one of the books about framing photographs I bought last year.
- If I lose my job next month, skip buying the car and set out on even longer weekends in my current car shooting pictures and looking for the one thing all men look for but cannot find (on a budget).
It's after 5:00. I've been home since 1:00, as our section was let go before lunch and told not to return (as in take the day off instead of go away, you're fired). I walked through the local movie rental shop and nothing appealed. I do not take this as a good sign.
I met one of the vice presidents in the hall who retired today after almost thirty years at the company. Vice presidents don't become vice presidents by making honest responses to the questions their underlings or their peers (or, dear god, the Board of Directors) ask them during their careers, but they will often say the most interesting things if you catch them just as they've finished packing their office on a day of introspection and goodbyes. She recommended I get out while I can.