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They have better beds on the A ward.

The office lobby in Oakland

December 30th, 2000

It Will Work Out
OK, a four day weekend last weekend followed by three days at work, and now today, the second day into another four day weekend. It shouldn't take more than one day to detox after last weekend's four days of frivolity and sloth, yesterday spent here in the apartment either at my desk or taking naps with the occasional look outside to see the sun, a good night's sleep last night and now (are you still with me on this?) let's do something today that I haven't done before, go somewhere I've not seen, eat a peach, eat a pear, read a book, comb my hair.

An uplifting politically correct exhortation for the morning. When I was younger a shot of brandy and a cigarette had a similar effect.

The air is nippy, but the sun is out and there should be something that I can do today that gets the blood pumping. Nothing indoors. No movies in the afternoon. Dark rooms, large or small, with flickering electronic lights are too familiar. I know this computer too well. Or too little. When I start the next paragraph the day will be close to finished. It is 8:45 in the morning, I've been grocery shopping, had breakfast at a cafe and read the paper. Time for the next step, for another step, for a walk in the park, a ride in the dark, a race with the sun to oblivion. (Kinda like trying to start a fire by striking sparks with a stone and flint. One of these phrases will give me a little "aha" experience and I'll head out the door). Maybe I should go to, aha, Napa.

Later, back from Napa. I haven't seen Russ in over a year and today was the time to say Broadway in Oakland hello and repay that loan that I've owed him now for a very long time. The last payment on the last balance of a large amount that I've finally now repaid from my self employed days. Life in the fast lane is getting faster. We had lunch, walking to and from the restaurant from his store in the little shopping center. This year, evidently, has been the biggest year in the history of his business and probably repaying my loan came at the least needful point in the entire period I've owed him the money. No, he said, not true. He'd been trading on margin over the last year and needed every penny he could get. Too bad about the trading on margin, Russ, but happy to have finally made good on my obligation. Thank you for not pushing. I recommended he buy Microsoft many many years ago and he did. I recommended Oracle many years ago and he did. I recommened Amazon when it went public and he did. Better to lose a lot of money in conjunction with making a lot of money than just losing a lot of money because you came to the game late. I guess.

Later still. I just got a call from my landlord. He's in Las Vegas and will be in San Francisco Tuesday and Wednesday, could he come by Tuesday evening? Well yes. Time to clean this apartment, I guess, and time to hear when he's planning to return. Why else come by (first suggesting he pick up the rent check, which I'd already mailed to his address on the east coast) if you're not going to give me the promised 60 days notice? Fuck. Three hours after I drive to Napa and pay that debt. What the hell, I still have the money I've set aside for a move and I might as well take care of everything hanging over my head at once. The stress will be wonderful. New place, debts paid and what? New job? I feel positively shitty, but it will work out.

The banner photograph was taken some weeks back while the election was still in doubt. The building in Oakland was taken just as the sun was rising. The quote is by Samuel Johnson.