Alarm Went Off
Tuesday. OK, well, Tuesday. I can do a Tuesday standing on my head. Well, maybe I can't, but I've survived them in the past, I'm sure this one won't be any different.
Wednesday. Up this morning bright eyed and bushy tailed. Up this morning bleary eyed, but functional, coffee allowing the body to start somewhere around noon. The morning was done hanging on by my fingernails. Reminds me of my twenties and thirties.
I had an interesting dream last night where I was in a car, perhaps a van, driving with people in the back seat (they were more shadows of people than people themselves), a woman sitting beside me, but she too a shadow, a presence without a name.
Nothing sinister, you understand, I was watching this as an observer as if I were in a theater and this was on a screen, except I too was up on the screen taking part. We were driving fast in a long stream of bumper to bumper traffic on a dark night when the vehicle in front of us (a truck, I think, just the back illuminated by our headlights) and another big aluminum box cargo truck right beside it in the left lane (we were on a divided highway, two lanes heading north, two lanes heading south, a wide space of trees and darkness separating them so that one stream of traffic was not aware of the other) came together and touched, the truck in the left lane turning over in slow motion on its side, I thinking, well, we're about to be in the middle of a car crash, I wonder why our driver is taking so long to react?
No internal turmoil as this was happening, just, well, we're having an accident in the middle of heavy traffic in the dark and then bang! (but just before the bang!) I noticed I was the one sitting in the driver's seat. My, my. No sense throughout any of this that I was actually driving, no sense of hanging on to the steering wheel or reacting to traffic, no sense of being the driver at all, just a sense of watching - bam! - and then it was dark and our vehicle was on its side, but I (we) were standing outside, no indication anyone was hurt, the people who were in my car, still shadows, close by, so I thought, well, I'd better go back and apologize to the people behind me who probably rear ended our van when we rammed into the back end of the truck.
Then somehow I knew that five people had been killed in the pile up behind, which is disconcerting (I can't see a pileup, so I start moving back toward where it must be) and delivering an apology for causing the death of five people now seemed more than a little foolish, but then I see there is no highway behind, that it just stops at a ragged edge leading back into the darkness. I realize, wherever I am, whatever is going on, we may be reaching the part of the story “where lessons are learned”.
Then (and these realizations are coming fast) I knew that everyone behind us on the highway was “dead”, yes, but that was only a way of saying, at least in dream time, that those of us who were in front of the break on the highway were “alive” and those behind us on the highway were “dead” in the sense we'd crossed a line into a looking glass reality totally removed from those who'd been following and “life” and “death” no longer had particular meaning. My goodness. Such deep thoughts for a Wednesday morning. My guess is, if I knew something about interpreting dreams, this one might tell a story, although not necessarily one I might want to hear. Then the alarm went off.