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Under Construction
A rose here in the apartment

April 15th, 2006

Of The Abyss
Saturday. This is the fifth day on antibiotics. The sinus pain has pretty much subsided and the pain in the back and middle upper gums is significantly less. I can now press a finger against my face at the left lower base of my nose and not feel pain. Since I don't have an inventory of the various aches and pains and their locations and intensities and whatnot, I cannot say what has been fixed, really, other than I think something has been fixed and that's good enough in Sole ProprietorLand. Oh, and the antibiotics give you a pretty good case of the trots, not so bad that you're at the edge of disaster at any given moment, but good enough to keep your attention. More than you needed to know, I know, but that's the way it works, it says so on the box. Five more days after today and then it's finished and I'll put off more comment until then. All this whining even causes me embarrassment.

I read Seymour Hersh's piece in The New Yorker describing what he's learned about the recent increase in U.S. military operational planning for the bombing of Iranian nuclear development facilities, at least the ones we know about, this planning including an option to use a nuclear weapon to crack the ones that are really deep down under ground. Scary to read in the sense its matter of fact treatment makes it seem possible, that the administration might not only be planning it, but thinking of doing it, the parallels to the build up to the invasion of Iraq making it scary, the Messianic aspect of Mr. Bush and his neo-world minions coming to the fore.

I hope not. I really hope not. I can't imagine the trouble we'd get ourselves into by dropping a nuclear weapon anywhere, let alone on a Muslim country who's president is making waves. An element that gives me pause to consider this story seriously is the recent criticism of the retired generals who are asking for Rumsfeld's resignation for incompetence in planning and implementing the war in Iraq.

One of the talking heads on the news suggested the generals were attempting to derail this bombing scheme. Still, when you negotiate - and we're negotiating full tilt with Iran - if you make them think you're crazy enough to explode whatever on their heads if they don't back off, they may just back off giving you a cheap win. Then again, that's what Hussein thought we were up to threatening invasion before we actually did invade Iraq, “they're bluffing” he was said of have said. Same with Iran, maybe, “this is too crazy, they're bluffing” or “my god, we've got to give them whatever they want and head this off”. Except maybe nothing is “too crazy” for Mr. Bush. And Mr. Rumsfeld. And Mr. Cheney. There in Washington. (D.C.) But I ramble. Can't be anything to it, right? Too crazy to even think about, right? Right?

It's been raining off and on, by the way. They say rain this weekend, but sun next week. I'm looking forward to sun next week, walking to work (he said) and riding the bus back home. No more driving into work. I'm depressed, out of shape, taking powerful medications and ready to stop all this moaning and groaning shit. I am sitting here today taking it easy. A guy came by to fix a ding made by a rock in the front windshield of my Element. About thirty minutes and it was fixed. No energy today to walk down the way to my usual restaurant for breakfast.

I slept in until nine, took at nap at ten, took care of the windshield (wrote a check), moved some furniture around and now I'm sitting here at 3:00 in the afternoon listening to NPR and drinking a little sake to smooth things out, aid the antibiotics. Normally they warn you against alcohol on antibiotics (at least that was my impression) but of all the warnings printed in the pamphlet that came with the prescription (and let me tell you there's a bunch), there was no mention of avoiding alcohol. Still, take it easy my man. This is Saturday. The evening coming is my evening to watch English captioned Japanese television. I'm looking forward to it. Unfortunately, the only bottle of sake I have left is the 1.8 liter bottle of Onigoroshi. I'm curious to see how I handle it.

Later. I'm wondering now about this Onigoroshi “Devil Killer” sake that's sitting beside me on the desk. I've had a couple of belts from the large bottle and I notice I'm not able to focus on the TV screen ten feet away. I get a double (horizontal side by side) image where everyone on the screen has an identical twin that reminds me of the label on the bottle, a red demon or devil with two sets of eyes, (vertical, one above the other). A feature? The result of some special additive (an added heavy metal that settles into your eyes and eventually makes you blind)? Am I in pursuit of knowledge out here on the edge of the abyss?

The photograph was taken in the apartment just now of a rose given to me by the Honda dealership when I picked up my car with a Nikon D2x mounted with a 60mm 2.8 Nikkor Micro lens at 1/2th second, f 3.2, ISO 100.