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At an Oakland City Center Jazz concert

April 25th, 2002

Screw The Heroics
A quick "long day" lament: It's been a long day. I went to work early, I came home early and now I'm winding down with a nice whiskey and water. Discount whiskey and the local Oakland tap water. Some might say a lethal concoction. I'm evidently in the mood for lethal concoctions.

It is a little odd to be here without Wuss. I come home at night and each time I notice the sliding door to the bathroom - bedroom area is open. I could never leave it open as he would jump up on the bed to sleep (and leak). A little jolt to the consciousness each time I open the door. I guess you get into habits you forget are habits until a change comes and you notice how slavishly they were followed. No litter box, no food dish, no water dish on the kitchen floor. No small rugs on the chairs. Vacuum the carpet without watching for Wuss, no need to worry about freaking out the little buzzard, no need to think at all. No new spots on the carpet, the old ones a day at a time older and maybe less prominent as I attack them occasionally with cleaner.

Happy to have Wuss gone? No, but not unhappy about these other things either, putting in for aAt an Oakland City Center Jazz concert  two week, maybe a three week vacation in July. Perhaps fly to Hawaii with my sister's family, spend two weeks on the beach and return for the family gathering in Seattle. I won't do the Hawaii thing I'm sure, curmudgeon and all that, but I'll be up in Seattle and if it looks like I'm going to still be employed two months from now, maybe drive up the coast in something new and different. (I won't do this either, but you never know. Dementia the occasional change in attitude can come with advancing age.) Maybe rent something. No need to marry the monthly payments. A Volkswagen bus. See if I really would like to own one (for more than a week). Beep! I dribble on.

The day is slowly winding down. I've had sore back muscles for the last few weeks and I've been thinking I'm sleeping in a weird position, mentioning this to MSJ out in front of the elevators, she leaving for the day, me with a big desktop computer braced against my waist, she glancing at the computer with an unspoken "sleeping in the wrong position, huh?" Hmmmm. I suppose "Huh?" is better than "Duh!", but, you know, just marginally better. The same muscles bracing the computer are the very muscles giving me trouble (Duh!). Use the cart. Become the old fart with the cart, use the freight elevator, screw the heroics.

The photographs were taken last Saturday at a jazz concert held in front of the Oakland City Hall.