Sara 22      

The Sole Proprietor was surfing locations he found linked on Journal Ring member sites when he ran into one he liked for its openness and candor and so, thinking about it later, he wrote down these thoughts. He didn't remember the site address or where he'd found the link but one of the Ring members emailed him the URL.

Sara's site has a kind of emotional openness and vulnerability that makes it rare and unique. She's also got a sense of humor and the Sole Proprietor had the sudden thought after his first glance that she might, just might be doing a put on, a subtle spoof, but a spoof none the less. It started with the section of photographs (where else) where one of the categories is labeled "nudes". Which category do you think the Sole Proprietor visited first? When you enter a window pops up labeled "Virus Download Completed", then "Terminating CPU countdown 3, then 2, then 1" followed by, of course, "Relax, its just an animated gif, not a virus" you experience a certain rush. Nice.

There are lots of pictures. Pictures of Sara with her current boyfriend, pictures of her wedding, pictures with the family, pictures with her ex after the divorce ("Yes, we're only friends, and happy with it like that! No possibility of romance in the future with each other. *Just* friends. In case you couldn't tell yet, we get asked that a lot that's all. :-)", pictures of her ex boyfriend and more, many more. They give you a good feeling about Sara and who she might be.

Maybe the reason the Sole Proprietor likes her site is that comment: "Yes, we're only friends..." Ouch! The Sole Proprietor is a loner and an iconoclast, but he's had more than one relationship over his years and one or two that have ended "just friends". You know, when you're starting out, "just friends" seems like a nice rational way to behave.

Who could argue with that, particularly someone so rational and reasonable as the Sole Proprietor? Maybe so. Perhaps there are people who can manage their heart and be "just friends", do their taxes and drive a speedboat all at the same time. "Just friends" put the Sole Proprietor under the covers at the bottom of his bed curled up and whimpering like a dog. A not very attractive dog. With an urge to join the Navy, any Navy. At once.

So when he sees "just friends" his heart strings tug and he sees little flashes from his past.

Then he turned to the section labeled health. Sara writes: "Since then I've felt better when I stick to my diet. I still throw up every once or twice a week sometimes, while other times I can go weeks to months without that problem at all. It's sporadic like that, sometimes it just hits, other times it misses but the diet has helped Sara tremendously. That is a lot better than throwing up all day and night, and going to the bathroom constantly for one reason or another, like it used to be in the beginning. In the beginning couple months or so, there was a period of time that I was bed bound, living on liquids, dehydrated sometimes, very weak, couldn't keep anything down, anything I ate was thrown up. Plus all those other symptoms as well, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, cramps, constant headache, diarhea, etc. Made frequent trips to the hospital weekly, sometimes daily. So now it is better from the diet I'm on and my positive attitude towards life."

Ouch! Again, leading with the chin. The element that made the Sole Proprietor wonder for a moment if this were an artist (and one hell of an artist) setting the observer up was the diet that allowed her to feel better: Lunch meat sandwiches and ginger ale. Lunchmeat sandwiches? Baloney sandwiches and ginger ale? This is what you eat when you're feeling blue and go off your diet in the middle of the night, mayonaise, mustard and guilt. Is she pulling our legs? No, she isn't, but after a first and quick reading and some thought, the Sole Proprietor wondered. He was wrong. Life is strange and lunchmeat sandwiches have their part.

The Sole Proprietor apologizes. He's had a condition, not like Sara's, but one that has backed him into a corner every now and then for over ten years. It has to do with bleeding and the Sole Proprietor knows all about TV cameras that are snaked down your throat. The only positive thing the doctors could say was that it wasn't cancer because he'd be dead if it were. Gives you lots of confidence you're in good hands. These things pass. They've passed for the Sole Proprietor and they'll pass for Sara as well.

An open and excellent site. Are you sure this "just friends" thing "works"? The Sole Proprietor still has the scars from those episodes when they were "working" for him. If you're handling that stuff, his hat is off and it makes him wonder what might have been had he been able to handle such things for himself. If he hadn't, for example, joined the Navy. In the winter. In the cold.

It's late Saturday. Maybe he'll post this, maybe he won't.

The picture used for the column head is perhaps a little weird as an intro to a piece on Sara's site. The Sole Proprietor will probably change it. It was taken at the gay pride parade this year and neither one of the ladies depicted is named Sara. He thinks. The full picture is included under the Comments section dated July 3rd or it will be once everything gets transferred over from his NBBC domain.

Back to the Menu.